This may not be a politically correct opinion this time. But, we as a society, have some serious problems. I was thinking back on Abraham Lincoln, whose name if mentioned is the refrain, “Oh, he’s the President who freed the slaves.” It doesn’t matter whether he did or not, but that is his legacy. And it is a good one. Whether it was on purpose or by mistake or fate. So that time has passed. I remember there were times when many black people had their own businesses, owned their own land and were quite progressive at larger percentages. So, what happened?
What damaged or doused the initiative of some. Certainly, whatever happened did not totally stop every one from going to school, finishing college, opening businesses and doing other miraculously great things! But, something happened which was devastating to us. Or, certainly, a lot of things happened to douse enthusiasm, initiative and motivation. I am not speaking of everyone. No. But, something happened. I think much of the pivotal change occurred with “the welfare system.” Perhaps when the system started it was well meaning and worked for a while. However, what happened was that there was no foresight into the “results” of giving away free money. Yes. Absolutely, some people definitely need help. But, I truly do not think that on the whole people want to be given free money. Here is how I look at it. If God meant for people to not work and just be given free money, why would He give His creation such great minds to think, create and perform. It does not make sense to me. People need work! Jobs! Jobs! Good jobs! I believe people want to feel a sense of independence and accomplishment through work for which they are paid and have a sense of integrity. The welfare system has been helpful, but greatly harmful; especially when the mandate went forth that the father could not be in the home if the mother and the children were on welfare. That philosophy was demeaning and devastating. It’s like the government is saying, “I’m your Daddy. The father is worthless.” But, fathers are not worthless. Fathers are meaningful, important and necessary and wanted. This societal sweep to keep fathers out of the home produced far reaching problems; so many that they cannot be counted.
I would venture to say that when fathers are not around to help raise their boys and girls, and love their wives the family is rifled, shattered. Now, women may not agree. I don’t know. Some women might say, “I can do it all by myself.” Okay. Fine. I stayed married 53 years and we just had to “make do.” Not all women can do it all by themselves. And, don’t forget about the children. Children don’t know what to think and do. They’re just caught up in the middle. Imagine how they feel when their biological father points to the new wife or girlfriend with her children and tell the “first family,” “This is my new family.” Children are crushed! crushed! when they are abandoned. Now, you know if you as an adult have trouble patching things up and making things work and understanding all the dynamics of separation, then how can the children be expected to make sense out of these problems??? Teach your children at home.
Jeanette Grattan Parker, Ph.D. is Superintendent of Today’s Fresh Start Charter School, 4514 Crenshaw Boulevard, Los Angeles, California 90043, Office Telephone (323) 293-9826 write to: [email protected], all writing copyright: author, artist, marriage expert, “Will You Marry me; Inquiring Minds want To Know.“