When we look all around there is conflict everywhere we go. There’s conflict on the highways, in the streets, in the grocery store, at the service station, in the home, in the church, at the office, nationally, locally, internationally, and in campaigns. There’s almost no where you can go where there is no conflict.
The American Heritage College dictionary defines conflict in this way, “a state of disharmony” between parties who may be incompatible or who may be able to come to a compatible state.
A resolution is setting your mind by making a decision to come to an agreement and come up with a solution to restore harmony and resolve the disarray. Sometimes, we think of conflict as a huge problem so large that there is no solution. Well, there definitely are some big problems which may evidence themselves in many scenarios.
The home and family is an area where we want very much to bring resolution, if at all possible. When there is conflict several parties may be a part of it. If family related, there are always the children to be seriously considered if there are any.
Absolute zero Conflict will not be achieved now. However, there are solutions to problems. It’s advisable that we have to want to come up with solutions and it is advisable that the other person wants to come up with a solution too. You may need several opportunities to talk it over.
Communication is so very critical. Sometimes, the other party wants to be “right” all the time. Well, nobody is right all the time. It’s “give and take.” But, on the other hand, some people just seem to like to be in disagreement. Some people think that the grass is greener on the other side. Well, that’s a problem.
It could be brown and withered. Sometimes, if we can bring ourselves to confront “self” to look at our own faults (examine ourselves) we have an opportunity to meditate on just what is the problem, define the problem and who are the players in the scene. Is it me? Do I have a listening ear to hear what the other person is indicating? Are there insinuations from the other person which may be advances to seeking solutions? What can I do to work on myself before I make a final decision that it’s someone else’s fault or beyond solving. Believe me, it is not always someone else’s fault. Are we going to be honest with ourselves? Can I change my approach to the situation? Can I change my attitude?
You know attitude is everything. Attitude is displayed by facial expression, body language, words and actions! If we approach something with the right attitude, an open mind and a willingness to see the other person’s side of the equation, (remember there are 3 sides to every situation) we just might be in a position to make an inroad to bringing harmony into the disharmony. The disharmony may not be solved in one attempt. The resolution to conflicts may take a while to dissolve the eruption. So, what is the bottom line? Seek peace, pursue peace and have peace in your own heart and mind. You can hear more clearly with a mind at peace.
After more than 50 years of marriage to one person, there just seems to be no limit to what I have learned and the desire to share my experience with others.
Jeanette Grattan Parker, Ph.D. is Founder-Superintendent of Today’s Fresh Start Charter School
4514 Crenshaw Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90043 (323-293-9826) where children are taught as individuals personally.
