There’s enough to get excited about without stressing. Have you noticed people like to see you become unglued or want to entangle you in your words? What makes you become “out of control or out of sorts?” There is actually a movie called “Stay Cool.” I’m not advertising a movie! Here’s the thing, when situations come up, it’s important to not overreact. Think before speaking and reacting impulsively to stay out of trouble and unnecessary conflict. Who needs the aggravation? Some people are going to get on your nerves. Have you noticed how much lying is going on? People are lying through their teeth soo much…and don’t think anything about it. Those lies just roll off their tongues and pervert the truth with no conscience. Some very clever liars lie right in front of your face! You can say, “I heard you say that the sky was green.” And the person might twist it, “No, I said the sky looked like it was turquoise.” Preposterous! (My Dad used to say, [“Cows in Texas give chocolate milk! I believed him! I know better now.] How about people who are constantly late..they come with dramatically, exciting stories to excuse the lateness, saying….there was an accident when there really was not…the sky fell down…I got out of my car to save a dead dog….whatever; but they come with a distraction to stir your attention away from their lateness and avoid pinpointing them. How about “avoidance lying?” I call avoidance when you have been two or more places, but you only tell the person (or loved one) about one of the places you have been because you don’t want him/her to know what you have been doing. Lies and deception are companions. Skilled liars can start early, so much so, it’s hard for them to distinguish between the lies; but you know they’re really lying. If you say, “I know you are lying” or more politely, “I know you’re not telling the whole truth, look for that temper to bristle up and a big argument. So what do you do? “Be Cool!” Studies show that the average person lies several times a day. Some of those are biggies (“I’ve always been faithful to you, I’ve never had s-x with anyone but you,”) but more often, they are little white lies (“Of course that dress looks good on you!”) There are different levels of deception: combovers, nodding when you’re not listening; lies we tell ourselves to avoid confronting difficult problems to maintain self-esteem, to serious delusions. Lying is very serious, My mother used to say, “If a person lies, they will steal.” It’s better to avoid lying. Take a deep breath. Be Cool! You’re on top!
[Jeanette Grattan Parker is Superintendent-Founder of Today’s Fresh Start Charter School 4514 Crenshaw Boulevard, LA 90043 323-293-9826 “Ask Dr. Jeanette” firstname.lastname@example.org Writings are copyright “Inquiring Minds Want To Know” “Will You Marry Me?” author, artist, marriage expert (50years+) educator, speaker]