Dr. Jeanette Parker 

I have many things to tell you, but cannot tell you all. A while back someone asked me, “What’s wrong with you [when I wrote my article on eggs]?” Some people don’t have vision and don’t put two-and-two together. For those who paid attention, it was a prophetic article; because not far off, there came the big news on: third trimester abortion, right to life and other topics directly related to the embryo and the fetus! {I just wanted to say that. It’s been on my mind for weeks to tell you.} What about blame? We say, “You made that decision.” Listen. Not everything that happens to individuals is their fault. Sometimes, a person thinks, re-thinks and still comes up with the wrong decision. Maybe they don’t learn it’s a bad decision until years later. When a decision is made and a person is ready to blame the results on someone else, what can or what does that produce? All I can say is, “Once you think the best you can, weighing the options “just in case” what you think will happen doesn’t happen. Well, no one else to look to but yourself. How about this, “You’re forced into a situation only to learn when your mind is more mature…you understand there’s another option..you look back and you want to blame, but you find all that will do is bring tremendous anxiety on yourself and hinder you from moving forward, because you’re too busy thinking about the past instead of looking into a brighter future.” Most everyone (I think) wants to blame someone or something for their state in life. I have seen in life the residuals of not well thought out decisions. Do we still believe it is better to wait and be married before having children? Do we yet believe in marriage or a myth—just old-fashioned? How has the necessity of having to raise children without biological fathers and mothers effected the equation of society. There have been both positive and negatives.

The positive is that courageous mothers, fathers and relatives meet the challenge. Congratulate them! Help them [if they don’t try to put all the load on you] They are soldiers! Brave with tenacity and endurance! They are wondrous human beings! I’m serious. Not every biological father or mother who is not in the home is a repugnant person. All are not. Circumstances can bring unspeakable difficulties. There are also situations where we have homelessness and children in foster homes. Wow! I met a woman who is married and has five children she and her husband were so compatible that they raised five foster children the oldest was about 40-years-old! I said, “You deserve a medal!”

Teach the children.

Jeanette Grattan Parker, Ph.D., Superintendent Today’s Fresh Start Charter School; author, speaker, All rights reserved copyright: Will You Marry Me; Inquiring Minds Want to Know. [email protected]