Tracy Lee knows the importance of keeping the connection between a parent and child, especially if one parent is not physically present. She launched her nonprofit, We Are Here for You, to support children who are involuntarily separated from a parent due to incarceration.
Longing for an absent parent is a feeling all too familiar to Tracy Lee, 56. It’s been forty years and Lee still has the yellow birthday card her father sent from prison for her 16th birthday. It remains perfectly preserved in a plastic ziplock bag.
“No child should feel abandoned because a parent can’t afford to call them or send them a birthday card,” Lee said. As a teenager, she felt very special that her father would remember her birthday while he was on “vacation.”
It wasn’t until she was an adult that Lee came to realize that her father was not out of town, as her mother had told her, but serving time in a federal institution.
According to a 2016 study published by the Child and Adolescent Health Measurement Initiative, one of every 12 American children – more than 5.7 million kids under age 18 – have experienced parental incarceration at some point during their lives. This proportion is higher among African American, poor and children who live in rural areas. Research has found connections between parental incarceration and childhood health problems, behavior problems and grade retention. It has also been linked to poor mental and physical health in adulthood. Dire outcomes are exacerbated when there is no contact between the child and the incarcerated parent.
Fortunately for Lee, though her father was in and out of jail throughout her childhood and as a young adult, he remained in contact with her. Lee’s 28-year old son who has been in jail since 2017 awaiting trial, also keeps in contact with Lee and his five children and one stepchild, ages 6 to 16. Lee does not want to reveal her son’s name because his case is still pending.
Each week Lee puts $100 on a prepaid phone card so she can talk to her son daily. Lee’s son is one of the lucky ones. He has a family that can afford to send prepaid phone cards to maintain contact. Many inmates and their families cannot afford the cost of a collect phone call, prepaid phone card or other means to keep in touch on a regular basis.
“My son is able to talk with his children, help them with their homework and make sure they have a nice Christmas or birthday,” said Lee. “But there are some inmates that can’t connect with their children. They can’t talk with their mothers because they can’t afford the phone call. They can’t even send their kids a birthday card.”
Through We Are Here for You, Lee hopes to bridge that gap and keep families connected.
The organization’s mission is to help children by reducing the stigmas, shame and trauma that frequently results from having an incarcerated parent. They offer a range of programs to assist inmates and their families.
If an inmate reaches out for assistance, We Are Here for You will provide a free phone card or birthday present in the inmate’s name.
Three of We Are Here for You’s programs focused on children include the Giving Tree Program, providing gifts and financial assistance during the holidays; the Giving Tree Financial Literacy Program, a workshop to teach children to handle money responsibly; and the Giving Tree Kids Literacy Program, a summer reading program where children in grades 1 through 6 win prizes by reading eight books and writing a book report.
Currently, Lee funds the nonprofit’s programs from her savings and public donations. The nonprofit is a labor of love for Lee who works fulltime as a bookkeeper. She is working to grow We Are Here for You’s volunteer staff as well as increase the number of families the organization assists.
Although having a parent behind bars is much more common today than it was four decades ago when Lee was a child, she still would like to reduce the effects of having an absent parent.
“We’re trying to help as many children as we can,” said Lee.
For more information or to donate to We Are Here for You, visit wearehere4you.info.