According to Google, the color purple is generally associated with royalty, luxury, nobility, and power. Purple has also been associated with dignity, grandeur, independence, pride, and peace. Some even associate it with power.
However, for victims of domestic violence, all these definitions would not describe how they feel about themselves. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and the organizers of DVA are asking everyone to wear purple on Oct. 17 for “Go Purple Day,” and National Day of Action.
The purpose is to shine a bright light on the ongoing problem that is diming the lives of so many people. We want to empower those who have felt powerless to reclaim their dignity and pride.
Domestic violence or abuse shows up in many ways and does not discriminate against anyone. Male, female, rich, poor, young, old, educated, or uneducated can all become victims of abuse. What is sad is when our children and elders become victimized at the hands of someone who should be protecting them.
Before we can help victims become victorious and heal from the wounds and acts that have been done against them, we must help them get out of the situation as soon as possible. Sometimes people feel trapped, and they do not know what to do or where to go.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline Number is (800) 799-7233, and several local organizations are willing to help when contacted. Depending on the situation there are two that come to my mind immediately, Positive Results Center, and Jenesse Center, both headquartered in the greater Los Angeles area.
Domestic violence tends to be is a pattern of behavior that someone uses to gain or keep control over another individual. Abuse can be mental, physical, emotional, sexual, or even economic. Any time someone feels threatened if they do not grant the person who is doing the abuse what they are demanding, it is abuse. The offender often will use threatening tactics and intimidation to stay in control and if they must, they will also inflict pain and violence.
The sad thing is sometimes we think we know someone, but they may not show their true colors regarding their personality or demeanor until we are deep in a relationship with them, and we feel trapped and cannot get out.
As we become acquainted with an individual there are a few things that we can look for that could be considered red flags such as:
* Do they put you down or make you feel bad about yourself?
* Do they blame you for things that are not your fault?
* Do they pressure you for things like sex or money when you do not want to give or do it?
* Do they use drugs or alcohol excessively?
* Do they check your phone or follow up on your whereabouts to make sure you are where you say you will be?
* Do they pick fights with you and then say they are sorry and that it will not happen again?
Remember, they are the problem, not you.
Sadly, I have experienced domestic and sexual violence over the years starting as a child. I understand the pain and shame that it can bring, but we do not have to be ashamed especially when something has happened to us that was beyond our control. We also need to teach our young girls and young men to value themselves and to be aware of the signs that can keep them out of harm’s way.
Finally, always trust your gut and if you feel you are in a bad situation get out before it is too late. Do not worry about what that person or others may think, self-preservation is key. When people show you who they are believe them and do not second guess your intuition protect yourself. Join me in wearing purple on Oct. 17.
Healing Without Hate: It’s a choice. It’s a lifestyle. Pass it on.
Visit www.WendyGladney.com and www.forgivingforliving.org to learn more. Wendy is a life strategist, coach, consultant, author, and speaker.
