Once we are born, there are two things we all are going to experience no matter how hard we try to avoid them, no matter how much money or fame we have. One of those things is death. The Bible is very clear that all of us will experience a single permanent death, no one gets out alive. The second thing is problems. A problem is any matter or situation regarded as unwelcomed or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome. Problems can be personal or unique, but there are problems most of us will encounter in some form or fashion like, health, relationship, friendship, money, or workplace. In my lifetime I have learned that it is not just the problem that causes the pain, hurt, misery, defeat, and disappointment, but rather how we handle the problem. Sometimes problems do not require a solution to solve them, instead they require maturity to outgrow and overcome them.
James Baldwin said, “not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.” We cannot avoid facing our problems. Truth is, when we avoid our problems, they usually come back as an even bigger problem. Running away from a problem only increases the distance from the solution. In my professional career I have been known as a problem solver. I believe I have earned this reputation because I have a Ph.D from the School of Hard Knocks and I minored in “tough times.” This education taught me that, every problem has a solution. A problem may not last forever, but if you want it to go away sooner than later you must define and diagnose it so that you focus on the real problem and not just on its symptoms. Albert Einstein once said that given an hour to save the world, he would spend 55 minutes defining the problem and only 5 minutes thinking of a solution.
I once had a mentor who would say do not bring me a problem without a solution. I am now going to give you a solution on how you can solve some of the problems who will face during your lifetime. First, identify what the real situation is and why it is troubling you. You should ask yourself what do you want to change or achieve right now, also remember there is no problem outside of you that is superior to the power within you. Secondly, understand what you can and cannot control, also remember the serenity prayer that says, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Third, take action with a positive attitude. Problems are a fact of life, you cannot control when or how they occur, but you can control your attitude, also remember problems are opportunities dressed in work clothes and finally, have faith that there is no problem that you and God cannot handle together. Remember faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. When we have to accept certain things that we face in life it does not mean we have to do it alone.
When a solution is found for your problem, it is your job to accept responsibility to do what you can to fix it. Owning your solution does not always mean you have to be the one to execute it. There may be someone else that is available and, in a position, to help, but you may have to humble yourself to ask for help. Either way remember, for every problem there is a solution.
Healing Without Hate: It’s a choice. It’s a lifestyle. Pass it on.