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Do You Create, Critique, or Criticize?
By Wendy Gladney
Published December 16, 2021

Wendy Gladney (Courtesy Photo)

I was in the event business for many years, and I was fortunate to have been part of wonderful events. One of the ways I was able to grow my business was by asking and accepting feedback.  I wanted to hear from my clients, employees, and attendees so I could gather information to adjust and improve my current and future actions and behaviors.  During this process I discovered most people did not create new or different ways I could enhance my business, most of them either critiqued or criticized what I was doing.  I found some of the feedback was helpful because it was an opinion that had both positive and negative aspects.  Much of the feedback was criticizing and it felt personal, and I had to figure out how to grow from it.  Fortunately, I did not let this feedback define who I was, and I took what I needed and used it as jet fuel for personal and professional growth.  I learned never give something or someone the power to influence your self-esteem if you do you are vulnerable to be emotionally damaged.  Be open to learn but do not get off course.

When we do not like something, or someone why do we tend to critique or criticize them instead of trying to either see things from their perspective or help change the situation and create something better or more beautiful? It is important for us to try and create things instead of knocking them down.  We also must understand the difference between constructive criticism when someone really cares, and they want to provide us with information to become better, versus those that may be haters and cannot support what we do. Dealing with critical people is uncomfortable and can trigger doubts about our own self-worth if you let it. Being constantly criticized can turn into a form of emotional abuse.  Learn boundaries.

We must believe in and love ourselves first to support others. When we understand our potential and the greater good of helping and serving others, we will change how we look at life and others.  When we focus on creating positivity in life, we will reap positive outcomes.  I am a Christian and my faith causes me to trust that God is in control.  I also believe that we play a role in how we approach life. There is truth to the law of attraction. We all can attract positive or negative things into our life.  We have the ability to create the life we really want, and we can help others on their journey as well. Sometimes to get what we desire we may have to change how we think and help others change how they think and see life.  Having a paradigm shift does not mean changing your core values.

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Here is a question we can ask ourselves as well as asking others: Are you finding fault and tearing down others or lifting them up and helping them become their best self? If you look for the bad in someone you will find it and the flip side is, if you look for the good in someone you will also find that. If a person makes a mistake, do not treat it like a crime and make them feel like a criminal. Mistakes are necessary tools of wisdom and growth. Something my dear grandmother taught me was, the people who are the hardest to love are the ones who need it the most.  Those who criticize are oftentimes hurting inside and not at peace with themselves, and the only way they feel good is if they are making someone feel bad.  Remember hurt people hurt people. Rather than dismissing them let us pray for them.  Why you ask?  Because they need the prayers, and we need the practice.

Healing Without Hate:  It’s a choice. It’s a lifestyle. Pass it on!

 

Visit www.WendyGladney.com and www.forgivingforliving.org to learn more. Wendy is a life strategist, coach, consultant, author, and speaker.

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Categories: Opinion | WENDY'S WINDOW
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