Around 10 years ago, while attending the Congressional Black Caucus, I decided to convince a few friends to go on a drive into Virginia to visit a place called the Salamander Resort & Spa. I was fascinated by it because it was the brainchild of Sheila Johnson, co-founder of Black Entertainment Television (BET) and the CEO of Salamander Hotels and Resorts.
As a successful African American businesswoman who made a conscious effort to have an amazing and prosperous third act of her life, she set out to do things she had only dreamed of previously. Our third act usually falls around the time we are about to retire somewhere between the age of 60 and 70. However, today many of us are pausing retirement due to several reasons such as good health, newfound interest, or financial need.
By the time we reach our third act, we tend to have more time and wisdom that can help us accomplish things that before were just a mere thought. If we are one of the fortunate people that by the time we reach our third act we can pursue the things that touch our hearts and we are passionate about, the sky can be the limit. It is also a time when many of us are reinventing who we want to be when we grow up. We are using our past failures as steppingstones to the success that is still yet before us.
Ten years ago, when my friends and I visited the Salamander Resort, we were pleasantly surprised when we noticed Ms. Johnson in the lobby. She was a quiet lady, but very gracious. I walked up to her and introduced myself and shared with her that I had been following her work regarding her resort and it was of interest to me as an African American businesswoman, but also because I had a history in the hospitality industry.
Recently, I came across an article about Ms. Johnson, and one of the questions they asked her was, what advice would you give people who are about to enter their third act? What really caught my attention was when she said do not be afraid to take risks and it is okay if you fail. Failing and being a failure are two different things. She shared that no matter what age you are it is okay if you do not get something right. She admitted that even in this season of her life, she still fails when it comes to certain things. Her answer to herself is to try again even if she must go in a different direction.
We must realize that sometimes we may not always have the answers, but we can get a little closer to our goal when we learn what something is not. Sometimes we must make mistakes to figure it out. Making mistakes can help us find out who we are not. The question we must ask ourselves is do we just go through things, or do we grow through them? If we do not grow, then we will not learn the lesson.
What is failure anyway? The dictionary defines it as the lack of success, but to me, it is only failure if you do not learn the lesson and you stop trying. We have many examples of great success stories where people failed many times before they succeeded in something they were working on. When I was in my twenties, I was part of a women’s bible study and one day as we were talking about the subject matter the discussion turned to sharing with each other what we thought each other’s gifts and talents were. When it came to me, everyone said the same thing. They said I have the gift of encouragement and hospitality and sure enough almost everything I put my hands to do has something to do with one of those two themes.
When I look back over the six decades of my life, I have tried several things that interest me, but not all of them turned into successful businesses. What I have learned is that there is a central theme in all that I do. I love being involved with helping people discover their best selves and encouraging them on their journey. I also enjoy helping people understand the power of forgiveness and that healing starts with ourselves. As you look back over your life, do not let any of your failures hold you back from the success that can still be yours.
Healing Without Hate: It’s a choice. It’s a lifestyle. Pass it on.
Visit www.WendyGladney.com and www.forgivingforliving.org to learn more. Wendy is a life strategist, coach, consultant, author, and speaker.
