Every year as the clock rolls over to the next, I begin to reflect on how I did during the current year and then I write out what I hope to achieve for the year to come. If you are like me, I am so ready to say goodbye to 2020 and hello to 2021. However, even with all the pain and disappointment that came this year, I still was able to experience some joy when I married the love of my life in our backyard this past summer. Due to COVID-19, I was not able to plan the wedding of my dreams, but then my husband asked me, “do you want a wedding, or do you want a marriage?”
When Ron asked me if I was more concerned with a wedding or a marriage, I had to pause and think about it. Afterall, I have experienced a few weddings in my life, but the marriages did not turn out too successful and this time I wanted my marriage to last. (I am not saying if you are able to have the wedding of your dreams it means your marriage will not last). His question and our current world situation caused me to stop and reset my expectations. This ended up being a no brainer in the long run. Over the years I have been told that I wear “rose colored glasses.” Which in the case of my wedding day that was probably true. Rose colored glasses means seeing things from a positive point of view and staying optimistic and I am an optimistic person. I refuse to give up being optimistic, but I am willing to adjust when necessary.
As I continue to grow older and learn from my mistakes, I find it is important to know when we should reset our expectations or when we should continue to plow through with what we want or expect and stay the course. It reminds me of not majoring in the minors. Regarding some things it is better to just let them go and as I said in a previous article, sometimes it is okay if certain things are good enough. Other times we need to stay true to ourselves and not give up on our dreams and goals. You may say Wendy, when it is not clear how do I decide when I need to reset my expectations? My answer would be if it conflicts with your core values or a vision you believe came from God, hold onto them, and do not budge, otherwise think about what would really be best for everyone involved.
I would like to encourage everyone to think about their goals and dreams for the coming year. Spend some time evaluating if it is something you really want or is it something that has been imposed upon you by others and you feel you must live up to. Also remember as we continue to grow and go through life experiences our dreams and expectations can adjust or change. Where I am today as a wife, mother, grandmother, entrepreneur who will be sixty on my next birthday, some things do not matter any more and there are other things that mean the world to me such as my Christianity, being kind to others, leaving a rich heritage and legacy for my children, grandchildren, and future generations.
So yes, I will be resetting some of my expectations this year, but more than ever I will stay true to what is important to me and for what I believe my calling is in this world. When you are clear about why you are here (meaning), and what you are supposed to do (message), you will always find your way back to your purpose (mission) and you will know when you must adjust your expectations and when you should just stay the course. I want to wish each of you the best in all you put your hands to do. Happy New Year!
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Visit www.WendyGladney to learn more. Wendy is a life strategist, coach, consultant, author, and speaker. She can be found live on Instagram @Wendygladney on Wednesdays at 12 noon PST.