Saturday, October 19, 2019
WENDY’S WINDOW: “Choices Made Through Our Brokenness”
By Wendy Gladney Dean
Published August 10, 2016


The other day I was having a conversation with a woman who was struggling with the outcomes from choices she’s made. We’ve all made decisions based on lack of information or an emotional pull that later we want to shoot ourselves for going in that direction. Over the years I’ve shared that we all have our crop and our cross to bear in this life. Our crop is based on what we plant and our cross is just because of who we are or what we believe. Then there are situations where we simply make decisions based out of our brokenness. In order to make good decisions we have to take care of ourselves and do the things necessary to be our best.

Our lives are so packed with things to do that we often brush over really handling and taking care of our true selves. We take care of our families, those we work with, our communities and sometimes even strangers, but we don’t invest the time and energy to go deep to see what we really want and need for our souls. We take care of the surface things such as getting our hair and nails done, we shop and find nice clothes and some of us even exercise to have nice bodies, but do we search our hearts to find out what we need at our core (and heart) and do the things necessary to make our insides as good as our external.

When we continue to find ourselves in the same situations over and over again with either a different face or a different location, but it’s not a situation that lifts us up and helps us to be the best we can be. We have to stop and ask ourselves: why do we keep doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results? Life is short and there comes a time when we have to step aside from the rat race and get off the merry-go-round and face the facts of what we need and what we have to do to get it. We also have to stop blaming others for why we are in the positions we are in. We have to take personal responsibility.

I read somewhere that conversations we have with others are oftentimes just a dress rehearsal for the ones we really need to have with ourselves. When we stop long enough to be real with ourselves we know when something is right or good for us, but we tend to make excuses because we are trying to fill a hole and we act or react from a place of brokenness. It is important to get to a place where we can look in the mirror and be honest with what we see. There’s the saying that if you want new results you have to do new things. Insanity is expecting different outcomes when you keep doing the same thing. Let’s get on with the life we have and start making choices and decisions from a place of being whole. I believe life will be much more fulfilling.

What I have personally learned along my journey is when you allow yourself to continue to be with broken people or people that feed into your brokenness, nothing you do will ever be enough and they will never be satisfied or grateful. You will continue to spin your wheels going fast but ending up nowhere. We have to understand our worth and understand that nothing is beyond repair. No matter what we’ve done or how far we may have walked down the wrong road it is never too late to turn around and get it right. It is only too late when we are six feet under and our life is over and we can’t get up and try again. When we get past our brokenness we can mirror wholeness and hopefully help someone else achieve the same results.

Healing Without Hate: It’s a choice. It’s a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit and Wendy is a coach, consultant and speaker. You may email her at Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Front Page with Dominique DiPrima Thursday Mornings @ 4:30am.

Categories: Family | Health | Lifestyle
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