Dr. Jeanette Parker
Dr. Jeanette Parker

The phrase “Green Eyed Monster” was used by, and possibly coined by, Shakespeare to denote jealousy, in “The Merchant of Venice”, 1596. Before Shakespeare, Jesus pointed to the pitfalls of envy and jealousy, “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world.” Can jealousy have a positive side? What about envy? They are related and have come to be closely identified; however, in my learning, envy has come to be known as the worse of the two. Envy involves deep hostility and even rage. “Envy” can be deadly, vengeful and revengeful. There is a difference between the two. Covetousness is inherent in envy; the emotion of seeing what someone else has and wanting it for yourself. That’s being out of control. We can’t have what someone else has unless we steal it!

We could use it as a motivation tool to challenge ourselves toward our potential. Jealousy is an emotion related to fear. Jealousy can be a fear that what I have I may not have long, because it could be taken away from me. If we enjoy something, we may even fear that someone else will take it. Jealousy may bear a grudge against someone, because we covet whatever that something is. Feelings of jealousy and envy can cause tremendous inner anxiety, which may produce insecurity and more fear. We can develop inner anger, feel inadequate regardless of what the real situation is. That can lead to feelings of helplessness, resentment; because we don’t know how to cure or heal our feelings.

Let’s look at the other end of the spectrum. If we are jealous or envious of someone or something, our first step is to recognize that we have those feelings and emotions. Acknowledging our feelings is a first step toward change. If you are jealous or enviousness, start purging those feelings to get to the root of being aware that you have those emotions. That will aide you in ridding yourself of them. “What am I going to do?” Take inventory of feelings as soon as you know that you have them. If you have feelings of anger, suspicion, rage, anxiety, not being motivated, sluggishness….then it’s time to perk up and get your groove on! Push yourself! Say, “What’s going on?” “Snap out of it”! Stop nurturing negativity. Those feelings aren’t going to move you to upward mental trajectory.

Negative thoughts can inspire you to move to your potential and do something about your state of mind…move to a higher level of thinking! Don’t get stuck wondering why, “I don’t have this or that.” Self-motivate! Change your thinking, change your life. Try a new way! Never give up! Just do it! Change is on the horizon!

Jeanette Grattan Parker, Ph.D. Superintendent/Founder-Today’s Fresh Start Charter School, 4514 Crenshaw BL., LA 90043 323-293-9826 [Author, artist, educator, speaker, marriage expert (50+) Writings are copyright: “Will You Marry Me” and “Inquiring Minds Want To Know.”] [email protected]