Wednesday, March 20, 2019
Success On “The Way”… Ask Dr. Jeanette: Blame and Shame!!!
By Jeanette Grattan Parker, Ph.D.
Published May 10, 2018

Jeanette Grattan Parker, Ph.D. (file photo)

Blame: Yup, a tactic. How about drivers making tricky new moves? Almost hitting your car, making scathing moves to the left–to the right only to end up right in front of you? Who’s to blame? “You were driving too slow. You should have seen the car going to swipe by you! Yada,Yada. Another might say, the slick driver should have not done that in the first place. People know how to create arguments? The news overflows with innuendo–arguments! Nowadays, “watch!” What you say, what you do–who you say or do it to.

There’s “interpretation.” Who’s interpreting what and how and creating different meanings. Remember how the marijuana laws changed and some people are getting out of jail? Not enough. Jamie Foxx says, “Blame It on the Alcohol.” “As Fast As Spotify” says, “Blame it on the drugs.” People deflect blame on something or someone! Blame it on Mama;” “blame it on Daddy,” not considering recriminations. Lying can be related to blaming if a person knowingly accuses the innocent. I didn’t do it. He/she did it. Whatcha gonna do ‘bout him/her? They were right there too. Why didn’t you do something? May sound trivial, but many end up getting into trouble if they don’t have a strong moral conscience. “Blaming carries negative connotations. It implies intent on the part of the person accusing. It effectively says ‘You meant to do that, which is bad, so you are bad and deserve to be severely punished.’ People fear such consequences and pass the blame on to others. This is a key reason that ‘passing the buck’ is so common. A common reason why people blame others is because they feel blamed. Direct blaming points a finger at a particular person.” (Changing Sometimes the person feels guilt; places it on someone else. There are more honest folks than dishonest.” “Blame shifting, a cleverly used tactic, is when a person does something wrong or inappropriate,–then dumps the blame on someone else to avoid taking responsibility for their own behavior.” ( › Articles) So, where am I going with this? Let’s find answers to reducing blame and replace with taking responsibility. Many are locked up due to blame and due to not taking responsibility.

Innocent people are locked up too. Estimated cost to keep one inmate in prison–$62,300 a year—compared to $9,100 per year per student in our public schools. California has built 22 prisons, but just one University campus since the 1980s, our society needs a facelift. Who’s to blame? We need to figure this out. Prisons are being closed in the Netherlands; giving prisoners keys, turning prisons into homes, because they have too many empty cells, not enough prisoners! Let’s learn from them.

Teach the children.

Jeanette Grattan Parker, Ph.D. Founder-Superintendent of Today’s Fresh Start Charter School 4514 Crenshaw BL, Los Angeles, CA 90043 [all writings are copyright. Will You Marry Me. Inquiring Minds Want To Know

Categories: Crenshaw & Around | Dr. Jeanette Parker | Opinion
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