Monday, August 15, 2022
Words of the Week – The Struggling Bones in the Closet
By Brian W. Carter, Staff Writer
Published June 14, 2017

                                  Brian W. Carter

Recently, life coach and relationship expert Cheyenne Bostock (@AskCheyB), posed the question to ladies on Twitter: “Would they date a man who has given up homosexuality after finding Jesus?” Definitely not a new question with not-so-new answers as most of the women responded with a resounding, “No!”

No surprise there, but it made me go even deeper with the question: “Could you date a former pedophile who found Jesus? Could you date a former sex addict who found Jesus? Could you date a man who served time for rape?” In other words, can we be “soiled” beyond redemption? Beyond finding acceptance? Beyond finding love?

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17


Thank God for Jesus and his death on Calvary, which leads all of us to new life when we accept Him and choose to follow Him. The Lord said he would cleanse us of our sins, forget our sins and toss them to the deepest of depths. Most Christians don’t have a problem with that or with rejoicing in others finding the Lord, but a relationship is another story and completely out-of-the-question for others, depending on the sin.

Women who responded to Bostock’s questions gave their support of a man who found Jesus and renounced a homosexual lifestyle, but wouldn’t date him. Some said they couldn’t trust that old temptations wouldn’t return, which is an understandable response.

Pedophiles live completely ostracized for the rest of their lives, undoubtedly a consequence of their actions. There are men and women, who have lost themselves in a world of sex and degradation to their own detriment. There are countless human beings who have lived their lives in a certain way, found the Lord, changed and now struggle to find acceptance, support and love.

When it comes to sin, human beings will share their space with a habitual liar over someone struggling with a sexual addiction. We often play the “this sin is better than this sin” game with one another. Fornication is probably one of the most “accepted” sins in the world by Christians and non-Christians alike. Many feel there is nothing wrong with sex before marriage if you are living together, especially if a person has every intention of marrying their lover.

“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that commits fornication sins against his own body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18

This is a loaded conversation piece that feeds into other questions and areas of the human experience. I’m not telling anyone what to do as I would struggle with dating a woman who said she was a lesbian at one time or molested little boys in the past. And there are people who make it their life’s mission to date, love and marry “outcasts” to prove a point, but that’s another discussion for another time.


“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

We all struggle with something, some of us multiple things, and God holds no sin above or below another. All sin leads to death (Romans 6:23). The blood of Jesus washes away our sins and begins the process of sanctification when we accept the Lord into our lives.

Ultimately, we are all sinners, some of us are beset by particular sin(s) over another. If you are struggling, then that’s a good thing, struggle means you are in the fight. The Lord will bring you through your struggle and don’t let go of His hand or His promises.

No one knows what God has in store: love, companionship, wealth, marriage, etc., but it’s all His to give if He chooses too. Pray, pray and then pray again before making any and all decisions in life.

Truth is, we will all date and marry somebody struggling with something, no way getting around that.

Categories: Religion
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