The month of February is a time for celebrating love. Everywhere we look there are roses, little red hearts, boxes of chocolates, people going to candlelight dinners, and girlfriends even celebrating “Galentine’s Day.”
But there are some people who never feel the love they fantasized about since they were little children, exchanging Valentine’s Day cards in elementary school. It can be very difficult to run from all the hype behind this month when you do not feel loved by anyone. Therefore, we must learn how to love ourselves and then share that self-taught love with others in our lives.
In the spirit of loving ourselves, it must start with our mindset. We have to believe that we are lovable and deserve to be loved. We have to practice self-care and remember we are queens, and it is up to us to pick up our crowns and place them straight on our own heads when no one is around to help us. It is also incumbent upon us to help our sisters who are struggling to pick up their crowns and put them back on their heads.
When we learn to love ourselves with a healthy love we can share and teach others the same principles. Everything starts one step at a time and staying consistent. Remember, although roses, candy, and special dinners are nice, they are not love, they are just outward expressions of hopefully how the person feels inside and wants to demonstrate their feelings externally.
What is love? The dictionary defines love as an intense feeling of deep affection. My grandmother would agree with this definition and would go on to say when you really love someone, you are willing to sacrifice for them, help them, and even place them above yourself. That kind of love is deep and rare – usually only experienced by parents towards their children, or husbands and wives.
As a Christian, I have also experienced this love from God. Coming from a troubled childhood, sometimes the love of God was all I had to hold onto. 1 Corinthians 13:1 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth.” When I feel that I need a little love, I practice this scripture and then I spread it to others in my life.
How do you practice loving yourself? We do not have to wait until February to practice taking care of ourselves. It should be a practice that we do on a consistent basis. Develop a ritual that feeds your body, soul, and mind. Find time to be quiet and still to listen to the small voice inside you that speaks to your heart and your needs.
It will guide you on what you really need and what is truly missing. This awareness will help you love yourself and know that you matter. So tonight, run a bubble bath, grab a cup of tea or a glass of wine, shut out the world, count your blessings and put your crown back on your head.
Healing Without Hate: It’s a choice. It’s a lifestyle. Pass it on.
Visit www.WendyGladney.com and www.forgivingforliving.org to learn more. Wendy is a life strategist, coach, consultant, author, and speaker.
