Wednesday, June 23, 2021
Wendy Gladney Dean
By WendyGladney Dean
Published November 21, 2014

This past week Forgiving For Living unveiled our new Ambassador Handbook to our girls at Jordan Downs and the Center for Learning and Unlimited Educational Success, Inc. (CLUES).  It always brings me joy when we are able to share information that causes a light bulb to go on for our girls and they get excited about learning.  This past week one of our girls shared a quote that made me pause and think. It says, “If it is important to you, you will find a way.  If not, you will find an excuse.”  The truth has never been so clear. 

I have been in a reflective state for quite some time.  As I continue to chart the course for the various projects and endeavors that interest me, I am constantly tweaking what is really important and weeding out what is just surface.  As I work through this process I think about another saying that encourages us to not major in the minors.  If we’re honest many of us focus on things that either don’t matter or are areas of least resistance.   We don’t press ourselves to be our best and to reach our highest potential.  Are we afraid of hard work?  Are we afraid of success? Marianne Williamson said it best and Nelson Mandela reminded us when he said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”  Some of us may actually be afraid that if we stop making excuses and do what we know is best we would actually achieve a level of success that exceeds our highest expectation. 


My personal opinion to why we struggle is because we haven’t identified what’s important or what we really want in life.   In order to know what’s important we have to go back to what are our core values and beliefs.  We also need to be clear on what are our gifts and our purpose in life.  Once we have identified these things, the rest will fall into place.  We have to stop making excuses for why we don’t do what we know needs to be done.  When in doubt always go back to the basics.  

I have decided to stop talking about something until I am ready to do something about it.  Saying that you are going do something or that something is important to you and then doing nothing about it minimizes your word and undermines your dependability.  I want my word to always mean something.  If I say something is important to me, I want the people in my life to understand and value my choices, but it must start with me and the actions I take. The bible tells us that a double minded (wo)man is unstable in all her ways. 

As we approach this holiday season, let’s take time to reflect on the things that really matter.  Let’s stop making excuses on why we haven’t done the things we know are important and let’s make a commitment to do the things that will make a difference.  We don’t have to wait until the new year to make positive choices and get on the right path. 

Healing Without Hate:  It’s a choice. It’s a lifestyle. Pass it on!

Visit and  Wendy is a coach, consultant and speaker. You may email her at [email protected] Wendy is featured on Radio Free 102.3 KJLH on Front Page with Dominique DiPrima Thursday Mornings @ 5:00am. 

Categories: Family

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