Wellington’s Road: The Victim of a Feminine Fist
By Brian W. Carter
Sentinel Staff Writer
What happened between Chris Brown and Rihanna was absolutely horrible. It’s unfortunate that young people in relationships are more and more resolving issues with the trading of vicious words and body blows. We all know abuse is unacceptable behavior in a relationship or marriage and the ramifications can be severe and long reaching. We typically think about women or children when abuse comes to mind. We rarely think of men being abused.
A man being abused? Really? Yes! Men can and are being abused in relationships and marriage. Most people would scoff at the idea of a man being abused by a woman, but it does happen. One internet site claims 30% of men are abused in a relationship and another site claims up to 40% that translates to around 835,000 men in abusive relationships.
How can a man be abused? The same way women are abused…with emotional, verbal and physical abuse. There are women who verbally beat their husbands to a pulp everyday. We may dismiss this as an argument between a couple, but who knows how frequent and extreme it is behind closed doors. A man can easily be physically assaulted by a woman, especially if he refuses to hit a woman.
Where a woman may be more trapped in a relationship due to being dependent on her husband financially, by fear or because of children, what keeps a man in an abusive relationship? Why would a man stay and endure hell in a relationship where he’s not respected and kicked around? According to a literary source there are a number of reasons why a man would stay in an abusive relationship.
A man may be in denial that he’s the victim of abuse due to the fact that he may feel men don’t get abused. He may also attribute her extreme behavior to hormones or PMS. A man may love his wife and be willing to forgive her abusive tendencies no matter how destructive they may become to him.
He may fear divorce due to the prospect of paying child support, alimony or he may be waiting until the children are grown. Fear is another reason a man would stay in an abusive relationship especially when his disturbed partner is threatening to hurt herself or the children if he leaves. Some men may immerse themselves in their jobs or outside hobbies effectively blinding themselves to the truth about the abuse. Some men may even be depended on their wives financially or even emotionally to the point where they are at the mercy of their abuser.
It is a fact that men are abused and people need to start talking about it. Men can be belittled, emasculated, beaten and cursed out beyond normality. It’s not a laughing matter and more men need to step forward. It takes guts to admit it, but until men do step forward, they will remain in their own private section of hell.