Hello world, I hope this week's article finds you in better heath, both mentally and physically. I've titled our conversation, "The Truth", because it seems as if, many of us have forgotten to use this (as a tool of good faith). Now, I want you all to know that I've been a foolish liar before and it cost me greatly! I've absolutely no excuses, yet, I understand why I choose to be dishonest.
During my last year in undergraduate school, while attending classes at Fresno State, I experienced a rush of attention that I foolishly enjoyed. I was an athlete and the president of my fraternity. So, most days I felt as if I was the $%&@ on two feet and all women were mine to have! That foolish ideology came shortly after a relationship where my erstwhile was discovered to be dishonest. My heart was broken and my ego was tarnished, so I felt as if all women were just simply lairs. Of course those thoughts were manifested within the mind state of a young man scorned, and truly did not justify for me lying to my next girlfriend.
Anyway, I was a cheater, a lair, a fool, which covered up my insecurities. When the guilt became too much to bear, my behavior became more thoughtless in anticipation of being discovered, which I was. Even though my girlfriend at the time forgave me and attempted to work things out, she made this statement, "Alfonzo, what if I meet someone who is honest and makes me laugh? My heart is with you, but." I stopped her before she could finish her sentence, knowing that she deserved better. That situation allowed me to discover maturity through the loss of her! I promised myself to never lie to another woman.
Now, as an adult, I've discovered that the truth prevails and there is no reason to behave in a dishonest fashion. If you're that type of person who prefers to date multiple people, then making that known up front is better for both parties. That way, the other person knows what's on the table. However, that is not always the case. I recently meet a woman who asked me to dinner. I was flattered and later discover that she is married (with children)! Now, I have no desire to interfere with anyone's relationship (especially a marriage). So, I just stopped returning her calls. There is no need for confrontation because she is out for negative gain. I know that her relationship is seemingly strong. So who knows what else is she is up to.
Why couldn't she just have been honest from the start? When I spoke to a female friend about this situation, she told me that "more women cheat then men". My heart doesn't want to believe that. I still have hopes of true love someday. Anyway, I'll conclude this article with the same question I posed at the start.
Would you rather your spouse continue to be deceiving, if you are currently living in a happy relationship?
Alfonzo Tucker is an author, poet and inspirational speaker. Visit his website www.alfonzotucker.com