Lisa is a single mother. She chose to have a child at 38, when 40 loomed too near and marriage seemed ever elusive. She knew that Kaileena’s father had no intentions of marrying her and would not make any kind of father, but she ignored family and friends and listened only to her biological clock and desires to be a mother by any means necessary.
She ignored the fact that he never took care of the four children he already had. Now that she is struggling to feed her daughter and has no time to hang out with friends, she complains to anyone who will hear that “all” men are dogs and that “most” fathers are Deadbeat Dads.
She tells that story to her friend Rose, whose ex-husband Damon doesn’t pay child support or see his child. When the two divorced, Damon decided to divorce his wife as well as his child, Damon, Jr.
Darnell married Linda ten years ago, when they both graduated from college. She loved him and remained faithful throughout the marriage. She found out over the last two years that he had been cheating, but was horrified to find out that he had been cheating on her with other men. She now tells the story of how her husband’s secret homosexual lifestyle caused them both to contract HIV.
When John turned 30, he realized that he didn’t have to rush to get married. He knew that there were more women than men and that as long as he left each woman before they pressed him for marriage, he could have as much sex with as many women as he desired.
Sandra has five children by as many as three men. She claims three fathers because she really has no idea who fathered her youngest children. Her focus is on having another child to increase her monthly income from Public Assistance. She believes that the combination of child support and Welfare should support her upscale lifestyle, because she deserves it.
Here’s the twist: The above stories are all of White people. Yet many of the people reading this have more than likely assumed that they were Black.
Some assumed that they were Black because the writer is Black, but sadly, many assumed the characters were Black because of stereotypes that exist in America, even within us.
The real problem is that when Americans hear these stories and know that they are of White people, we feel sorry for them and want them to get help.
However, when we hear about these stories about Black people, we talk about the poor choices they made and how they need to be given tough options or just dogged out in public.
Some people say that Spike Lee is speaking out of turn for declaring that some of Tyler Perry’s characters harm the image of African Americans.
Some say that Tavis Smiley was speaking out of turn when he made comments against presidential hopeful Barack Obama.
And some people say that I am out of turn when I write about which group of Blacks have caused which problems.
But there is no more out of turn. Stupid Ass Negroes ruined that when they began to call each other “Nigger” in front of the entire world.
Black women ruined it when they began to tell anyone who will listen how horrible things are for them because of those “sorry ass Black men.”
Elitists ruined it when they began to blame everything on poor people.
We can find evidence of racism at every turn, but really, until we make corrections in our self-image and our actions, the blame must be assigned to just us.
Right now, African Americans are discussing Spike Lee’s comments about Tyler Perry being likened to Amos ‘n Andy and the only real defense for Perry’s coonery is that he is making money. Not that he is laying any real foundation that we can capitalize off of–just that he is making money.
Only AA decide that making money trumps protecting our image.
An old axiom says that when it comes to the Justice System for Blacks, it’s “Just Us.” The meaning is that we are the ones who are persecuted and prosecuted.
Currently, when it comes to our own view of ourselves, all things bad are assigned to “Just Us.” The meaning, I believe, is clear.
Because of our skewed view of the world and how it works, it is just us who think that only Blacks are crackheads and criminals.
It’s just us who think that slavery was a “long time ago” and is no longer relevant to our current standing.
Ask any Jew about the Holocaust and even if that man or woman never deals with Judaism, they will more than likely pontificate with vigor on the oppression of Jewish people.
African Americans are the only people who have begun to downgrade their own historical oppression to pretend that the playing field is now level. Like racist Whites, many of those blind Negroes cite President Barack Obama’s existence as evidence of all things being equal, not realizing that the mere fact that his Blackness is ALWAYS mentioned proves that it is an anomaly and not the norm in any other corner of society.
What it comes down to is self-hatred that has been taught to us overtly for hundreds of years and then covertly for nearly as long. It has been so covert that many of us pretend that there is no self-hatred and/or it has come from us.
At some point, we will become irrelevant. Not because some group of White racists finally tramp our existence into the dirt, but simply because we have accepted all things negative about ourselves in efforts to prove that we are nothing like “those people” and that all things bad are the fault of those whom we wish to be distant from.
Neither ten Barack Obamas, nor the resurrection of Martin and Malcolm can stop the diminishing of Black people and the Black image.
Whether we thrive or simply disappear into antiquity is completely dependant upon Just Us.
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Darryl James is an award-winning author of the powerful new anthology “Notes From The Edge.” He released his first mini-movie, “Crack,” and will soon release his first full-length documentary. View previous installments of this column at www.bridgecolumn.proboards36.com. Reach James at djames@theBlackgendergap.com.