Hello world, my last two articles have covered topics that have allowed me to invest thought in some truly unselfish areas. This third article ends the series; yet, for me I believe it to be the most important. More imperative than me possibly becoming a husband someday, more vital then my role in raising a son, unequivocally, the most important role I can ever partake of in life-that will be cultivating the existence of a female child.
The reason why this topic is of great importance to me is because my own biological mother was lost mentally, emotionally and physically. I have never known her in any fashion other than a photograph. She was a prostitute with a heroine addiction. And unfortunately, I was the third child she gave birth to by the age of eighteen.
When I think of her, I wonder if she could have lived a better life if she had the models of womanhood that have blessed my life. I speak of three women often in these articles because I owe them my confidence, my ambition and my ability to love. Dana Darling, Linda Reaves and Nancy Cisneros. If I had a daughter, I would show her the qualities of those three women and encourage her to model them as she develops throughout life. I recall setting in church one Sunday listing to the pastor speak these words, “the father is the protector of his daughters virtue”. I will accept that role and lead her to hopefully make healthy and positive decisions, for herself.
If I had a daughter, she would obtain her sense of self worth from me! I will lead her down a path that is full of gifts. The type of gifts that build self-esteem, appreciation of herself, be her short, tall, large or small. If I had a daughter, I would teach her to love herself and disregard the negative temptation of false security within this world.
I believe that the father daughter relationship is vital to the female psyche; a woman’s existence dwells within the rapport she shares with her father. These thoughts are so intimidating that I fear them, yet that trepidation is natural, I assume. I hope that the blessing of any child is granted to me within love and a cherished commitment. Even more so, that my daughter can take example from me in regards to the treatment of a woman, a wife and a mother. It disgusts me to read and know of women in mentally and physically abusive relationships! If they remain in those relationships, I question the father and the values he instilled within his child.
My foster mother, Dana Darling, always asks me the same question when I discuss women with her. “Fonzie, (is what she calls me), what type of relationship does she have with her father”. That perspective helps me understand a woman.
If I had a daughter, I would teach her to recognize positive intent within men, which I hope will allow her to make healthy choices within her relationships with men, be those relationships business or personal. I would teach her that sexual attraction is normal yet her body is sacred and to respect it and herself as such.
If I had a daughter, I would teach her to embrace her womanly gifts and to expound upon them in any fashion that is positive and healthy. The reason for that is women are the first teacher, the first care giver, the first provider, the first confidante, and the first to recognize and understand the qualities within their own babies. It is those gifts that allow man to exist. It is those gifts that allow man to succeed in life!
I believe it is the responsibility of man to provide the most secure and loving atmosphere for his daughter to flourish, as she being a female is the giver of life.
I’ll conclude this article by thanking my foster father, Mike Darling, for being a healthy example of fatherhood. “Sliver Back” (as I call him), I am learning from you what I hope to teach my own daughter some day. “Thank You”.
Â (This article is dedicated the Melvin Barnett family and his daughter Victoria).