On January 20 2009, my then White-American husband called me and the President a nigger. We had followed the campaign all year and there was no problem. After that incident, I left even though the one and a half of two years we were married, the verbal abuse on his behalf persisted. Due to the fact that I would later find out this was why his family kept their distance because he was a bitter angry man, I myself have always been one to try and change peoples’ ways even more so after my son was a victim of a violent crime in 2003.
So I stayed in an abusive marriage to try and change someone for the better. I feel ashamed that as a woman especially a Black woman, I allowed myself to be subjected to such disrespect. No one, regardless of race, should ever stay in any type of abusive relationship. I never thought I would be a victim but abuse starts just the way it is usually stated by victims, it starts subtle. The abuser makes it appear that they love you and would never harm you and when they do they apologize and you usually fall for it.
In my case my ex-husband had me give up my job and I moved from my home into his, away from my family; that’s another red flag, they isolate you from everyone. Now I am being victimized again by the court because the joint account was closed. Now I have had to represent myself. The court in question is in Victorville, and it is already under scrutiny for another family law matter online at NBC news.
I had to surrender my vehicle the only car I had because my ex was believed over me and his attorney has waged her own personal attack against me. The judge has allowed unbelievable behavior in his courtroom regarding this matter. The family members who once were missing in action are now coming out of the woodwork because of money. They didn’t even come by on the holidays and they live within driving distance.
I have been seeing a doctor and therapist because I suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder and had a severe case of the shingles. I will appear in court again in September of this year to fight for my car that the court took away from me. It was my livelihood, where as my ex has three cars and is financially stable. I have had no voice in the courtroom, even when I could speak, a deaf ear and a blind eye is all I have gotten.
Please pray for me to gather the strength to fight for what is right; no one should feel intimidated by anyone including the court system; if the court has you stand up to take an oath to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help you God, then FIGHT! Never give up; abuse in any form is not ok and get away as fast as you can because that day I believe if I had not left, I would have been killed by my ex who owned two shotguns and that bitterness he harbored inside came out like a volcano erupting on inauguration day.
I hope by me sharing my experience it will give someone else the inspiration to stand up for what is right. Thank you and always remember to take care of You.