Thursday, December 1, 2022
Ask Dr. Jeanette Success On ‘The Way’-‘Yeah, Man!’ Part 5-‘She’s THE One To Have and To Hold!’
By Dr. Jeanette Parker
Published October 22, 2020

Dr. Jeanette Parker (File Photo)

During the “ol’den days” many young women thought  if they had sex with a young man that meant marriage. Not true. Based on the family training of those young people, they may have been taught that. To some extent that may have been true. Promiscuous behavior has defied that principle. However, some men (I have to always say “some,” because it’s not a one size fits all premise) still live by that principle. Some of the constraints lie with the woman (young lady). Ask yourself, “What type of woman do I want to marry?” Some men don’t want to marry at all. That’s fine. But, you st

ill keep running into that “God thing.” Yes, what would God say about you (even the man) sleeping around and why do you keep on doing it if you believe it to be immoral. Yes. Morals apply to men too. Because if you have diminished moral standards and you plant your seed anywhere and anytime, this comes back to society and has an impact on all of us. So, you want to be a eunuch? I don’t believe it. The word comes from perhaps the positions (job functions of the man).

For example, the man’s assignment may have been to guard the bedchamber of women. Okay. Let’s get back to our point here. This is the kind of woman we’re talking about here…I suggest a woman like Abigail. Let me tell you about her. She was very beautiful, a wise woman and of good understanding,  organized and circumspect in her dealings. She was not impulsive, but thought things through with quick, wise resolutions. In some instances she thought like a man, but was a desirable woman in all respects. She was married to Nabal. She tolerated him and his gross boorish faults, made excuses for his shortcomings (which is putting it mildly) and where necessary, she took up the banner to correct and intercede on his behalf when he made terrible mistakes. He was wealthy and very prosperous with one thousand goats and three thousand sheep. 


Here’s a great example. Nabal and his men went to Carmel to shear sheep. This was a type of celebration to have sheep to be sheared and the men look forward to having other sheepshearing celebrations. David (yes, the mighty warrior) heard about Nabal shearing his sheep in Carmel and  sent his young men to greet Nabal peacefully: “go up to Carmel and greet Nabal  in my name and say to him who lives in prosperity, “Peace be to you, peace to your house, and peace to all that you have!” Your shepherds were here with us. We watched over them and your goods and nothing was stolen; we kept them safe. As your young men and they will tell you that it is true. For this kindness, I would like my men to come and feast with you in exchange for this kindness we rendered to you for looking after your goods. Nabal, who was short tempered, arrogant, selfish, inconsiderate and unthinking, stated, “Why should I take my hard earned goods and  implied they were  run away slaves!

The STAR of this true account, Nabal’s wife, Abigail comes into the picture. She hears about what has happened. She hears that David has girded four hundred men (leaving 200 behind to watch over everything). His intent is to kill Nabal and all his men. As soon as Abigail heard about this devastating news, she knew it sounded like her drunken husband. She acted swiftly and wisely, gathered food from their store; such as two hundred cakes of figs, five sheep already dressed and more stuff and loaded the goods on the donkey. She rode on a donkey and came upon David where she honored him and took up for her wicked husband, “do not regard this scoundrel, Nabal, my husband. I didn’t know all this was going on, but now that I know, the Lord has held you back from killing all of us in anger and wasting blood.

Let your enemies take the blame for this, for the Lord has great plans for you because you fight the Lord’s battles. [All this time Nabal did not know what all was going on.] But, soon after he had held a feast and got drunk. Abigail told him everything and his heart turned to stone (I’m thinking he had a heart attack and suffered shock!). He died. Abigail lived and David sent his men for her to be his wife. So, let’s take a look at this most admirable woman. She saves her husband and her household from a deathly massacre by David and his mighty men. She used of necessity “secrecy.” She knew if Nabal had known what was going on, he would have made bad matters worse with his short temper and stupid reasoning. She used controlled patience and measured wisdom. She handled all those men wisely. Nabal never had any concern for her loyalty.

She was watchful in all matters; and a most admirable woman. Isn’t this the kind of woman you want? One you can trust in all matters and takes care of everything in good keeping? So, my word to you is be patient. Watch yourself, don’t be fooled by silly women who see only that you have money and that’s their guide for marrying you. Thanks for reading!  Jeanette Grattan Parker, Founder-Superintendent Today’s Fresh Start Charter School 323-293-9826; [email protected]tm tm[email protected] tm “Inquiring minds want to know.”© All rights reserved© tm


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