Monday, October 21, 2019
Making “Gay” Go Away
By Dr. Firpo W. Carr (Columnist)
Published January 15, 2009

You may recall that "buggery" is essentially another word for homosexuality. For any one of several reasons, some "same-gender-loving" (SGL) males and females wish to abandon their homosexual lifestyle and practices. Can gays and lesbians change? Have some truly changed? What motivation is there to change? These questions are tackled in this article.

Motivation to Change?:  The following five points are from a PRO-GAY publication, the title of which I'll save for last. (1) Autoerotic Asphyxiation: "It's an unusual form of masturbation that sometimes results in death. In one technique the masturbator literally hangs himself while [masturbating]." (2) Obsession: "There are men whose obsession with sex is so severe that it threatens to take over their lives. Sexual desire becomes the tail that wags the dog." (3) Depression: "The depressed gay man often turns to sex for comfort and relief, but in sex he does not find the solace he is seeking," hence, "suicidal ideas become common, and in some cases are acted upon." (4) Suicide Among Gay Teens: "Gay teenagers are also prone to suicide." The Centers for Disease Control studied this phenomenon and found that at the time "Fully one third of all teenagers who kill themselves are gay." (5) Gay Guinea Pigs: "Gay resorts like the Fire Island Pines, Key West, and Provincetown were used by underground drug entrepreneurs to test out new recreational drugs….Ecstasy, MDA, rubber, Special K, angel dust, and PCP all made their debuts this way….Recognize that the use of alcohol or drugs is the leading reason why gay men have unsafe sex." There are many reasons why one would do well to reconsider his or her sexual preference.

And what source did the direct quotations from the above five points come? Prepare yourself for a mind-boggling conundrum. They came from a book entitled, The New Joy of Gay Sex!  One of the authors is Dr. Charles Silverman, a noted psychologist. And what does an updated edition of this publication contain? Publisher's Weekly says the new edition includes "sex with animals, sadomasochism and 'intergenerational love affairs' such as the relationship between an 11-year-old boy and a 21-year-old man. These repugnant sections of this revised edition of a 1977 guide to male/male relationships mar an otherwise useful volume." For those who want to change, counseling is indeed called for, and "reparative" or "conversion" therapy is not new. It's at least as old as ancient Greek culture. In my fifteen-year-old now out-of-print book, Are Gays Really "Gay"?–A Sociological, Scientific, & Theological Analysis (1994), the following point was made: "Interestingly, about five centuries before Christ's appearance on earth, Zeno [of Elea] spoke of the malakos [or, homosexual male] as receiving…therapy."

Can Gays Change?: Absolutely. "If the foremost priority in one's life is religious faith, then personal happiness might come from conforming to faith rather than from pursuing sexual orientation," confesses psychologist Patricia Hannigan. Indeed, "Some of you used to be like that," says the Good Book. "But now the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and the power of God's Spirit have washed you and made you holy and acceptable to God." (1 Corinthians 6:11; Contemporary English Version) Taking its own poll, the August 17, 1998, issue of Newsweek reveals: "In a Newsweek Poll, 56 percent said gays could become straight; 11 percent of gays agreed." Recovery can range from heterosexual marriage to complete abstinence. According to Newsweek, John Paulk is an ex-gay (in that he has reportedly ceased engaging in homosexual activities) and former drag queen. He is currently married to a former lesbian, and the happy Portland, Oregon, couple has three beautiful children together. Regarding celibacy, even The New Joy of Gay Sex admits: "For most adults celibacy is not bad for you, either mentally or physically. The male body has a built-in method for ridding itself of semen (hence, nocturnal emissions) and in some cases celibacy can actually be refreshing." And the book Homosexuality, by the Society of Medical Psychoanalysts, Research Committee, states that "every homosexual is a latent heterosexual." Will it happen overnight? Not likely. As with any addiction, it will take time. And, to be fair, not everyone is committed to abandoning buggery. According to Newsweek, Michael Russee and Gary Cooper, two of the founders of the ex-gay organization Exodus International, relapsed into 'tip-toeing through the tulips' with each other and consequently resigned from the organization. But, mental health professionals like psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists and marriage counselors associated with the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) boasts a modest success rate. NARTH says that it "upholds the rights of individuals with unwanted homosexual attraction to receive effective psychological care and the right of professionals to offer that care."

Leaving Lesbianism?: The summary of the excellent white paper by NARTH entitled "Female Homosexual Development" says it all: "Women who deal with same sex attraction, possess a history of disindentification [sic] with their mothers, and therefore with their femininity. This leads to a longing for connection with the feminine that becomes sexualized in adolescence or adulthood. Without a secure attachment to mother, she fails to identify with mother as a female role model losing the opportunity to develop trust and a healthy gender identity. Because of an empty or distorted view of her feminine self she has an inability to connect in a healthy way with other girls. Her sexual development is arrested. This can create an underlying depression and anxiety within the little girl that may follow the remainder of her life. She does not have a sense of well-being and lives with restlessness within her as she searches for security and stability. She seeks validation for her dependency needs that were denied as a child and longs to be connected with a loving caretaker and ultimately with herself. Rather than finding the feminine within her, she looks to another woman to give her the identification and connection she is missing. Like all other deep-seated identity issues, same sex attraction is difficult to overcome. Psychotherapy consists of understanding the emotional roots of the attraction, strengthening feminine identification, grieving the losses of childhood and learning to meet same sex needs for attention, affection and affirmation with emotional dependency and in a non-erotic manner." 

My Motivation to Write: In keeping with the name of this paper, the Sentinel, I feel duty-bound to protect the intellectual integrity and social cohesion of L.A.'s African American community. So when this sacred community was attacked by White gays who endeavored to force their agenda on us, I felt compelled to step to the plate and defend Family. I have no regrets for doing this. More importantly, I felt impelled to defend the Holy Bible, the Divine Word of Jehovah God as expressed through the Lord Jesus Christ, since the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community attempted to justify their practices by quoting the Lord. This, to be sure, is unacceptable. In the final analysis, it is my hope and prayer that we all work out our own salvation with fear and trembling. (Philippians 2:12; New World Translation) Amen.

[Note: Get Dr. Carr's new limited-edition book for women, Sistas & Supernatural Sex: Background in the Bible ($14.95), only 50 copies released, available exclusively at Eso Won Books, 323.290.1048, starting tomorrow. And for men, How to Keep Your Pants Up and Still Feel Good ($19.95), will be available in April 2009.]

Word of the Week (or is it "Weak"?) sentinel: one that watches over or guards; a sentry.

Dr. Firpo Carr can be reached at 800.501.2713 or 



Categories: Dr. Firpo W. Carr

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