Eden was about to turn 30 on Monday. She dreaded the birthday and for the longest, she ignored it, pretending that by ignoring the event, it wouldn’t really occur. But occur it did.
It wasn’t that Eden really had a problem with turning 30. She had a good life and was proud of being where she was at the age she was turning.
Eden had just made Junior Partner at her law firm, after being on the fast track for six years. She had a nice house, excellent credit, a nice savings account and a big, fat red Benz.
But she had an empty heart.
Her bed was just as empty because she had decided upon graduating from law school at 24, that no man would share her bed unless he was planning to share her life. Her first love had shared her bed, but had no desire to marry her, leaving her with a broken heart and broken dreams.
After six years of focusing on her career, the desire to be a wife and mother returned with a vengeance to visit her on the thirtieth anniversary of her life.
Ryan had turned 30 two months ago.
For him, it was a blessed event.
Ryan’s Internet marketing firm had gone public and became a cash cow, leaving him with a life full of promises and a posse of women who wanted whatever part of him they could get.
Ryan had never had a problem with the ladies, but now that he had a bit of fame and a lot of cash from his business dealings, the ladies came even easier. Some came for the good times and some came for the possibility of being his woman or his wife, but they all left with the same thing-simple nights of sex and a few days or weeks of fun.
There was no commitment in what Ryan offered to any woman.
In fact, he never considered the women who came to him for possible relationships. And, none had really caught his attention the way Eden did when he first laid eyes on her.
Eden was dressed to the teeth at the American Music Awards, accompanying a group from one of her corporate clients. They were all White men and Eden stood out majestically with her golden brown skin and crown of reddish hair.
Ryan knew two of the men in her group and stopped them to chat briefly about his firm and the direction it might take. He chatted with them, but he could not stop looking at Eden.
She played it very cool, but she was definitely checking him out as well.
After the event, Ryan invited her for drinks. They hit it off very well and began spending a great deal of time together.
They kissed, and more than that, they hugged each other. Deeply.
One fine Spring evening, while watching the sun set from Ryan’s balcony at his condo by the water, sparks began to fly.
But before those sparks could turn into a flame, Eden made it clear to Ryan that she was not interested in being anyone’s bed buddy.
“You know I’m attracted to you, Ryan,” she said. “And, I do want to be intimate with you. But I know you have other women that you see and that’s not how I want to get down. If you want to be with me, then be with me.”
“Of course I want to be with you,” he smoothly replied. “But I don’t want to just jump into a relationship. I want to keep my options open until I’m ready to get married. We can keep spending time getting to know each other and eventually, we’ll be in a relationship. But I don’t want to commit to you just to have sex with you.”
Eden was consistent and strong in her commitment to her own program.
“That’s not what it’s about,” she said. “My body is valuable to me. I haven’t been with a lot of men and I won’t be adding anyone else without a commitment.”
The discussed the issue until more than a few things were blue, including the sky, which was now turning from night to morning.
Ryan knew that there was no moving Eden from her program.
He liked her, but he wasn’t ready for a relationship and knew that there were too many women willing to give him sex without any ties.
Eden knew that Ryan was a good man and would have made a good boyfriend and husband. But she also knew that he was more interested in playing around than in settling down and she had no interest in being a part of that.
They dated a few more times, but eventually interest faded on both sides.
Eden met a man who was ready to be in a relationship and eventually, they married.
Ryan remained a whore for a few more years, never able to stop thinking about Eden and the possibility they once had, regretting his status as a whore, remembering the potential loves he lost.
Ryan was still a whore.
Eden was now a wife.
Darryl James n is an award-winning author who is now a filmmaker. He released his first mini-movie, “Crack,” and in Spring of this year, will release his first full-length documentary. James’ latest book, “Bridging The Black Gender Gap,” is the basis of his lectures and seminars. Previous installments of this column can now be viewed at www.bridgecolumn.com. James can be reached at