Hello World, welcome to another day! If you’re optimistic about life, these next few minutes you’ll spend with my words may offer you a wonderful moment and new found light. Just contemplating this article led me to a euphoric state of mind. I’ve so much to give, so please take a deep breath and allow your eyes to flow across my thoughts.
Yesterday I spoke with Dana, the gorgeous woman who I asked to be my mother Sunday, May 10, 1992. We spoke of these articles I write for the L.A. Sentinel and with in her comments I could feel her warmth and love for me. They’re two other women who have blessed my life as well. One is a proud beautiful woman by the name of Linda, my first foster mother who taught my how to use a knife and fork, even corrected my speech. The other is Nancy (she offers me the brightest smiles every time I surprise her by attending her court), she commissioned my juvenile court case that included orders for me to seek counseling.
The Ordeal; even though my heart is flowing with the motherly love these women offer me, I still think of Sue Ann Rhymes (my biological mother).
For those of you in similar situations, who dwell within a periodic void, cherish those close to you! I know that my longing for Sue Ann may never go away, but, on many occasions I am offered unconditional love from three women who hug me as if I was born from their own womb; no amount of verbal or written praise can express my gratitude. Just know that I could not wake up every morning with out the loving energy you all provide me! So, I credit all of you with my accomplishments throughout the rest of my life. Yet, how do I allow a spiritual link to attach it self to a thought, a picture, a lost memory that started when I was six months of age?
I wrote this poem to recite at a speaking engagement that took place on the second Sunday of May a few years back. Appropriately titled “Mothers Day”
I have never known
or have ever had a clue
of what it would be like to love
and receive love from you
I have two pictures that describe you
From them I imagine what your
mannerisms are when agitated or happy
My only guess is that your addiction
offered you comfort from
the loss of me
Or your smile with in those pictures was because you were carrying me
I would give you my life,
if my life could allow you peace
My questions range from
infant needs to adult grief
Shameful that my memories are meek
not from an outsiders perspective
but the need of you to instruct me
I learned how to treat a woman
by the mistakes of others and my own
a gentlemanly smile, a flirtatious grin,
walking closest to the street,
giving up my seat all so you would be proud of me if we were to ever meet
It doesn’t matter that you were/are a woman of the street soliciting clients so as to feed your high
those two pictures of you resemble that of a woman who could
have been my guide
yet the day my father took me from you, me a six month old child
suffered, blind, my mothers love, no longer a gift to cherish, on this day
or any other, for my life time
I have vowed that my children will celebrate mothers day under the same roof in which both their parents live
That means monogamy and fidelity,
will be examples of my own to give
You may not have been here to watch me succeed, but with every
achievement your name “Sue Ann”, in the back of my mind it rings
It rings along with Dana,
Linda and Nancy
these women have cared for me,
like a mother, unconditionally
Happy Mothers Day to a woman
I have not and may never meet
Happy Mothers Day to every woman
who has a child they can teach,
feed, discipline then reap the rewards
of a job that is never complete!
Question: Although, I tell Dana all the time how appreciative I am of her and her gift of love to me. How can I express that her efforts are accepted fully, yet, still have no control over a longing that may never be quenched?
Alfonzo Tucker is an author, poet and inspirational speaker. Visit his website at www.AlfonzoTucker.com.